Public Honesty session 1... 
Why I have post traumatic stress, and why it doesn't really matter... 

I LOVE a parade! I always have. Growing up in Jonesport Maine where the worlds best 4th of July celebration happens, will definitely teach you the value of a well done float! 

We/I put over 200 hours into this amazing float for the Saint Patrick's Day parade back in 05. I stayed up all night long painting a cast of 35 people for it. "Story time at the Castle" We had one of the most amazing Shakespearean story tellers on the Monitor with amazing stories for our cast to play along to. We were bless to have the Dragon from the The Wizard's Chest being pulled by a big purple castle fully built by us. It was perfect! Everyone was decked in the finest paint and costumes! Everything was running on schedule as we sat in the big parking lot waiting for our turn to round Blake street and present our genius to the judges and cheers of the people. It's a lot of fun to sit in that lot with all the other entries. The people watching is beyond compare!!! There are some truly amazing individuals who participate in parades. I just love it!

After literally a couple of hours in line up I finished up some touch ups with much anticipation! Could it be??? Yeah! It's finally OUR TURN!!! ~ Our turn for CHEERS AND AMAZING ticker taped fun and excitement!!! Let's take them by storm......Yeah! Around the bend we come...There it is... Blake street! We did It! We really did it!

BOOMM....Ppppppfffffff. The engine dies with a big black puff of smoke and a wheeze!!!!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF BLAKE STREET and right in front of everyone behind us!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!! The world caves in a bit and I can't breathe. I was mortified!!!

What were we to do??? I had parade marshals screaming about getting out of the way, I had a 40 lb CO2 tank on my back with those fucking green hair puffs..(giggle).Tears streaming down my face. I hadn't slept and was feeling it at this moment more than any other moment of the entire night! Sigh... we didn't get it started.. It was everything we could do to get the thing pulled out of the way of the parade so that everyone else could proceed.

My cast was amazing!!!...Kings and queens and sheep with Bo Peep, juggling jesters and poi spinning fairies with piggies and wolves and all the more. There they were, so there they did there things, they began walking and entertaining with smiles on their faces! I will never be able to repay them for that response! It has helped to sustain that feeling of not being able to give up, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

So I rode my little step scooter to the place where we were staged to stop and present and I put myself front and center to that judges panel. In fifth ballet' position, with my left hand on my hip, and my right hand extended in true street performance fashion. "Lady and Gentleman judges of 2005! It is I~pause with bow~ The Glitter Freckle lady!!! I worked very hard to present a wonderful story for you here today, but as you can see, my parade float has broken down and I have held up the Parade! I did my best! Thank you and ~ good morning(with another bow)". As I proceeded to pick up my little scooter and place my foot in the middle of the step to go on with the rest of the parade, they began applauding!!! The delay by now was right around 35 minutes and there was no sign of the rest of the parade. And they were applauding! It was so humiliating and harsh and extreme... But you know what???? We still WON parade marshals choice for that year. I know a lot about failure... With that truth I can honestly say that with each time I did not succeed, and there have been so many times now that I have come to expect it; with each one, I have grown! TAK
The human existence involves mirrored interactions for a reason.  There is realness to the
old ways oral traditions that embrace the duality in the human soul....It is a
3rd dimensional FACT that there are two sides to every magnet...a positive and a
negative.  The very same truth exists now in the 4th which most are attempting
to catch up to.  This magnet is not at all unlike a human being.   We ...all have
both positives and negatives.  It’s part of our divine quality and is what makes
us so interesting to the entire universe!  WE also have an amazing thing called
free will!  Imagine if a magnet had a choice of which side of itself to work
with……….Now I ask you, does it have a choice?  Let me give you an example of
what I'm talking about.  If you put 2 magnets positive to positive, what
happens?  Without the duality of both sides the universe would topple much like
the spin that happens when you force two separate magnets positive ends
together; that is of course if you can get them together at all...  The cool
thing about the resistance is that you can create energy with the repelling
forces of BOTH magnets just as well as the attracting ones.  WE cannot corral
this easily; we can only understand that this is the universal law of it and
that YES the choice is your own.  It depends entirely on which ends you decide
to put together but you are both sides no matter how much you may be asked to
choose one or the other!!!We are both as nature is both.
The Artist  Kelsie
It always poses challenges when you are doing something  out of the kindness of your heart.  
I’ve learned that passion can easily be confused with ego.  But without passion, shit just plain
doesn’t get done let alone with no  budget when you need it done well.   I don’t know, there is
a certain amount of submissive style cruelty that a volunteer always gets no matter how hard
they work.   It’s my hunch that most artists get to feel this way because often times in order to
have the right to be creative at  all, most of us have had to give up more than one comfort along
the way.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not whining  about it, but it takes a certain amount of
dedication to your craft to be  willing to starve for it….It’s an even deeper dynamic still when
you are having  your own projects AND volunteering to help other’s with theirs. 
 What do you do when they  both require full time pushing? 
 Some of you visiting here  won’t even connect enough to read this entire entry; you will have
already formed your opinions within the first sentence or two.  It wouldn’t matter if I was about
to die later in the paragraph, if I failed to get your attention, or if I lose your attention, you would
never know I’m about to die.  I feel that is the case with artwork so to many oftens!!!   Have you
ever loved anything that much?  Or for that matter have you  ever needed to accomplish creating
something so badly that it hurt your physical being to not be able to because of something stupid. 
There always seems to be some superficial limitation that prolongs your end result or you finally
after all the diligence actually get to finish  something that is worthwhile.

That’s what it’s like you know…creating… It’s like being willing to jump  off the bridge if that’s what it takes, but not because that egocentric critic  over there decided that you need to in order to prove that your dues have been  paid. I say NO WAY!!!  I don’t have  to jump off the bridge to take a real plunge, but I’ll freaking swan dive if it  will keep us going with our creating…   (Sigh)   It doesn’t have to be that way you  know….We are doing something new now….   Right??? The only difference between then and when we decide to work  together and let our passions blend into one impenetrable force is that I “used”
to wear penny loafers and I used to have shame over my freckles and red hair and  blue eyes because every person I knew at that time treated those that didn’t  have those attributes like a pile.   You don’t know me, or have any  kind of authority over me.  So why  do I give a shit that you do or don’t?  I shouldn’t, right?  I used to  pretend I wasn’t an artist.  Honestly, I don’t think you would  believe me if I told you that story but it’s true.  8  whole years I didn’t even pick up a brush. It was a choice.  Does it matter?    Should it matter? It’s in the past right? What should really matter is that I don’t have any shame left!   The only thing left is LOVE and a serious determination to create,  educate, and inspire others.  I’m  ready to be seen!   Sometimes  that’s not pretty is it?  To be
seen; really seen.    I hope the world  is ready but if it’s not oh, well.  I’m still taking that swan dive.

Boy it sure has been an interesting and busy week full of both
feel goods and hard lessons.

Let’s see, I finished the initial building of both this site here
as well as my Husband’s.  I
pulled a few still images from our video project, “Wind” so we can begin a
teaser for our eventual video release in a couple of months.

What an amazing weekend!  I was invited by Paul Borrillo and his lovely wife Ericka of Borrillo Entertainment to be a part of an amazing fundraiser held at the RedLine Gallery in Denver this past Saturday Evening.  Proceeds went to "Raise the Arts" foundation.    Both Sophia Rose and Mythica Von Griffin were there with models as well Paul and Ericka with their Lamp piece. When done well, body paint magic is sure to wow passers by at the party!  And did they indeed!!!  All the pieces done were splendid, and it seemed that everyone there enjoyed our media choice for the event.  Body Paint is so misunderstood!!!  It's wonderful to be a part of some of the first real embrassing of this form in a main stream yet contemporary gallery.  It is hopefully only the beginning. 

I think my favorite part of the evening other than working with an amazing kindred soul as my model was to watch people react when they realized there was a person in that veggie display over there!!! LOL....  Gasps, and wows filled the air.   It was AWESOME!!!  It was such a fun place to be able to show the abilities it takes to pull off a piece like that.  Not just as an artist with preparation and time limitations but also with consideration to how difficult it can be to model for a piece like this. ~ open loading dock doors on naked skin for hours.  Meanwhile the catorers coming through misting every 30 minutes or so to keep the veggies fresh.  It certainly had to add to the torture that I'm pretty sure it was for her.   The beauty was an amazing example of someone that is passionate enough about art to go through that with me for all of you....  I am so happy to know you Rain!!!  You are amazing!!!  The final 2 pieces titles are "Goddess Salad"(Top of page),  and "Cannibalistic Kale" (upper left of post)!!! 

My mother passed away 15 years ago today.  I miss her terribly.  I figured I would work on my website today with her in mind.  I love you Mom!! Thanks for the check in!